Semper Ubi Sububi

CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE MIRTH KIND

2011-11-22T17:55:00.006-06:00

Even though the Daily Creative department 's heydey occurred in the years between 1979 and 1981, the memories of CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND (1978) were still fresh... and all the moreso when the paperback book of CE3K 'photo-toons' (the movie re-told in photo stills) came out. I don't know how the whole thing started, but someone cut out a panel from the book and added a word balloon that pertained to life at the Creative Department... and pretty soon everyone was contributing... at everyone else's expense.

The panels featured here are just a fraction - A FRACTION -- of the many that were created. Interesting to note the number of names mentioned herein -- bosses, ad reps, tech guys -- many of whom I don't recall.

JARVIS... ON ICE!

2011-10-25T18:10:00.000-05:00

History Lesson #43 -- Long before photoshop and laptops we had to create bogus photos with a simple 700 pound copy machine. A Creative Dept. staff photo of John's head just happened to fit - exactly - on this shot of a North Stars player and, boom, the team roster went up by one.

Stay tuned for history Less #44 -- Who were the North Stars?

THE OFFICIAL S.U.S. COAT OF ARMS

2011-09-11T17:45:00.000-05:00

THE EVOLUTIONARY CAREER OF TRACY THE COP

2010-09-11T17:57:00.010-05:00

DICKY TRACY, the renown title character of the comic strip was best known for pursuing a nonstop parade of criminals (each one saddled with a visage more monstrous than the next -- a curse that no doubt propelled them into a life of crime). Up the river they'd go and Tracy would move on to the next. But what most of his fans probably didn't know was that Dick Tracy also sold beer to college kids.

The ads we did used the comic's logo (stolen from the strip) and the character's hawk-nosed profile (also stolen) but eventually DICK TRACY'S SALOON ads involved fake comic strips featuring Dick as the Sam Malonesque owner of the off-campus bar. The first one starred Junior, Tracy's freckle-faced protege lifting his bad grades blues via a frosty mug of suds. The second strip/ad dealt with Tracy's superior entering the bar, cuffed to a collar... only to allow the criminal to escape because the Captain was drinking on duty! Through no fault of the strips/ads (I think) the syndicate that owned the DICK TRACY strip forced the bar to change the name of the place, no doubt as it was being used without permission.

Easy enough. DICK TRACY'S SALOON became TRACY'S SALOON and we designed a new Keystone Cop kind of character to be its new mascot (for which I was paid exactly fifteen dollars. Even THAT was a battle... "Fifteen dollars?!" The manager claimed he could have a friend come up with a design for a free hamburger). John and I did a subsequent strip featuring Tracy the cop/bartender facing off with a couple of baddies, all presumably in his off-duty hours. For years after our days at the Daily, Tracy's Saloon still kept a big framed portrait of my Tracy design displayed in the main room.

Alas, now thirty years later the bar remains but the mascot and his portrait have gone the way of Speedy Alka-Seltzer and the Exxon Tiger.

Danny O' Day Held Hostage, Part 5: As The Nation Held Its Breath, Danny Languished

2010-04-11T16:30:00.009-05:00

Much like the Washington Post's spearheading of the Watergate investigation, the Minnesota Daily was the "go-to" source for news of the dummy's overseas kidnapping. Known for caring more about content than type-setting headlines (and filling out columns with real words) the Daily cut to the quick, offering up-to-the-minute acounts of what befell O'Day's ordeal.

Meanwhile, as Danny's release was being secured, a new crisis back home was brewing...

Danny O' Day Held Hostage, Part 4: Media Feeding Frenzy-And A Warning

2010-04-11T16:11:00.020-05:00

Soon enough every mainstream magazine reflected the O'Day ordeal and its impact on American life. Lurid, hastily written paperbacks chronicling the crisis followed:

Stunningly, the head of the Daily Advertising deartment insisted the Creative Dept. stop covering the O'Day Crisis and get back to real work. Faced with remaining true to their journalistic principles or retaining their jobs, the team had no choice but to comply.

Soon, however, the note below was sent to Litt's office, a grim reminder that Danny O'Day's fate was still uncertain.

Danny O' Day Held Hostage, Part 3:: Message From The East

2010-03-23T22:38:00.006-05:00

While detained, Danny not only found a postcard somehow but a postage stamp and a mailbox as well. Inexplicably Craig was the one Danny reached out to despite after all the time Danny O'Day had spent on Jeff V's lap, Jeff was crushed.

It was only a matter of time before the plastic Dummy's abduction was picked up by U.S. media outlets and the story spread like wildfire.

Danny O' Day Held Hostage, Part 2: History Repeating

2010-03-22T13:34:00.015-05:00

In 1978, a handful of American journalists were taken hostage in Iran.

It was a tense time for America and some consider the international incident to be the killing blow to the Carter presidency. The hostages were ultimately freed, a B-movie star replaced Jimmy Carter and all was well.... but it seemed Tehran still wasn't satisfied.

In 1981 the Daily Creative Department was suddenly faced with its own Hostage Crisis...and one of their ranks was in terrible danger...

Rare photo showing a captive Danny gagged as well as blindfolded

(which is a little unncessary, since you could shut him up just by not

moving his lips) and being held at exacto-knifepoint.

Danny O' Day Held Hostage, Part 1: Danny, Oh Danny

2010-03-21T15:23:00.015-05:00

Danny O'Day (pictured here with mentor and operator Jimmy Nelson and B-movie actor Ronald Reagan -- video at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLIjWm9YRkc) arrived at the Minnesota Daily sometime in the winter of 1980. Made of plastic and stuffed with cotton, he was content to sit on the iron radiator and watch the rest of us work.

(At right: Danny caught in a awkward moment.)

When he was absent from his perch one day we assumed Danny O'Day was off on one of his global jaunts as he was wont to do (step sibling Farfel had left Danny a small fortune in his will).

We were half right. Danny had traveled to the volatile Middle East and had foolishly visited the still turbulent country of Iran. Knowing of Danny's close ties to now President Reagan (see photo), he was grabbed at once.... and a new hostage crisis in Iran was born.

There was nothing to be done at the offices of the Daily Creative Department but to watch helplessly as notices drawn in marker on sheets of typing paper appeared, reminding us of what we already knew.

One of the more unsuccessful ideas at the Daily

2010-02-11T12:21:00.005-06:00

JEFF V. ADDS: The picture alone made me laugh out loud, but some reminiscence is due... I remember when the box (not nearly as big as the one pictured) was placed in the "conference" room of the Daily. A little open-topped compartmentalized cardboard box, not unlike the kind you store Christmas ornaments in, full of candy bars and Cornuts and such. I recall how impressed I was at the idea that someone in the world still had the confidence in their fellow human beings that such an honor-based form of retail could succeed. As Bruce's headline denotes, it did not. Candy bars and snacks disappeared from the thing while its collection box remained equally empty or close to it. Scribbled IOUS were instered into the slot. Handfuls of spare change. The greatest moment in the venture's short-lived existence was when a note appeared on the Honor Snacks box, charging "This Thing ATE MY QUARTER!"

All these years later though it kinda warms the heart that the Honor Snacks tradition -- and the belief in altrusism -- still lives in the modern age (note the http://www.honorsnacks.com/ in the above picture).

SPEAKING OF DEANNA...

2009-11-25T12:47:00.006-06:00

Remember her paramour...?

Trish Two

2009-11-23T13:34:00.006-06:00

CRAIG ASKS: Are you sure that's Trish? Maybe you were doing a caricature of Dyan Cannon to go with James Garner and Starsky & Hutch?

BRUCE ADDS: Nope, this would by my Dyan Cannon.

Deanna Model and Friend

2009-11-23T12:17:00.008-06:00

When the Daily Creative Department needed models for its ads, it didn't look too far away. Here are Deanna and Bruce posing with the Daily in hand. Deanna seems to need some sort of bike repair. And Bruce is secretly reading the Daily behind the Wall Street Journal. (If you're a businessman type, you gotta wear the hat. )

JEFF V. ADDS (and asks): Did these pictures ever run? It's interesting to recall that back in the day, if you needed to call a bike repair shop you had to climb into a glass box to do it. And what mystery is Trench Malloy pursuing in yet another still from the TRENCH MALLOY MOVIE?

CRAIG ADDS: The point of the Deanna photo is easy enough to understand. But what are we saying in Bruce's photo? Is he just reading the Daily alongside the Wall Street Journal, or trying to hide the Daily behind it? Are we trying to say that we're also a good source of business information or that our readership demographics equal a business pub's? Or were we just having too much fun playing dress-up again?

BRUCE WONDERS: Would that "we" be "me" playing dress-up, Craig?

Caricatures By Bruce Continued

2009-11-23T11:53:00.015-06:00

Okay, I found the original James Garner caricature I did at the Daily. That also meant I found a bunch of other caricatures I did way back then. Can you identify them?

CRAIG RAVES: It's like a snapshot of popular culture circa late 70s/early 80s. I love the grizzled Charles Bronson most, but I have to say I'm most impressed by the Steve Martin drawing most, since he has the least distinctive features, especially in his pre-white hair phase.

JEFF CORRECTS CRAIG: Great Garner, Boffo Bronson, I mistook Jimmy Carter for David Leterman (who was not on the public radar yet, I know, but most if not ALL caricatures of the Georgian President showed him grinning, hence my confusion) and I like the bold, simple style in which Gerald Ford was drawn. But Craig, Steve Martin? Wrong. That's politician Gary Hart. And, sorry, but who is the last one? Abby Hoffman... or Starsky?

BRUCE ADDS: Craig's right, it's Steve Martin. (Below is the reference I used!) And the last is indeed Starsky and Hutch (when Hutch grew the most feeble mustache on TV).

CRAIG ADDS: David Letterman? Look at the lips, man. If it was Letterman, you'd have seen the unctuous grin with the big space between the front teeth. (Hey Bruce, could you work that up for us?)

BRUCE RESPONDS: Here you go, Craig.

Trish Immortalized in Graphite

2009-11-18T16:46:00.005-06:00

Here's a pencil sketch I did of art directoress Trish the Dish back in '81. Much more satisfying than drawing janitors.

The Preliminary Janitor (and his wife)

2009-11-18T16:29:00.004-06:00

I don't have a copy of the original drawing I did of (and for) the Daily janitor and his wife, but I did find an original preliminary pencil sketch I did of the couple (on vellum). Jeff V. did a great caricature in an earlier post!

JEFF V: And here it is... again.

They have taken our name in vain...

2009-11-17T19:00:00.005-06:00

The least they could have done was make it a Coney joint...

Still real hard holding back the laughs at this one...

2009-11-17T10:53:00.007-06:00

As a companion to this post, I offer the following advice (dispensed sometime in the '8os, I guess) to all our wives:

(Of course, what's truly surprising about this letter is that the Diner-quoting fan is A WOMAN! Which I assume is only slightly rarer than finding a Dodo bird egg.)

The art direction of... wait, it'll come to me.

2009-11-16T16:09:00.009-06:00

I know someone in the Daily Creative Department designed this cover. Ideas?

CRAIG WONDERS: Correct me if I'm wrong, but that's not even the campus, is it? There's the IDS Tower, and the Northwestern National Bank sign...

The art of the can

2009-11-16T15:53:00.005-06:00

I'm assuming I drew this for some sort of college beer can sculpture contest. Beyond that, I haven't a clue.

CRAIG COMMENTS: Bruce, you really could have had an alternate career as some kind of cartoonist, I think...

Bruce was hired as a copywriter, right?

2009-11-16T15:16:00.009-06:00

The art of Bruce H. Or you get what you pay for from a free Creative Department.

CRAIG COMMENTS: Look at the hair on that babe! Too bad the plate of eggs and bacon doesn't look as appetizing.

The Art of Jeff Jones

2009-11-16T14:48:00.003-06:00

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe Jeff Jones is responsible for this clown.

Clip Art Joint

2009-11-16T14:31:00.006-06:00

One of the many resources available to the Daily Creative Department was a collection of small books of clip art (although with all the original art flying around, we didn't have to use them much)--notably insurance accident clip art of people falling down stairs. Here's one example of the use of clip art. Where we found fencers is anybody's guess.

CRAIG ASKS: Bruce, did I work on this with you? Seems a little like my sense of humor. Or maybe John's.

JEFF V. FAWNS: This is pretty funny. guys. I don't recall ever seeing it. I assume you cut and repositioned the guy on the left's arm to make two pictures out of one. I know I wasn't involved because the third "panel" would have entailed the man on the right being skewered by the other one's sword.

The Airbrush Cometh

2009-11-16T14:21:00.005-06:00

In an attempt to provide our clients with the latest technology and to give the FFG the chance to fool around with an airbrush, Jeff Jones somehow convinced the Daily to pony up for said airbrush. Jeff J. got really good at it as I recall; he could render a mean donut.

I'm Melting.

2009-11-16T14:01:00.011-06:00

A sad day in the Daily Creative Department: many of the 45 records used to entertain and inspire us were tragically left on the heater, misshapen nearly beyond recognition (and they sure as heck wouldn't play). If you can remember more of the gone but nearly forgotten, blog away.

King Ocar Ardine

2009-11-16T13:55:00.005-06:00

Another popular pastime of the Daily Creative Department was to find advertising radio scripts printed in Communication Arts Magazine and perform them (often recording them). I particularly recall the scripts for King Oscar Sardines where the "esses" weren't pronounced (hence the title of this post) and Time Magazine with John doing the female parts (so to speak).

The Art of the Typewriter

2009-11-16T13:42:00.004-06:00

I distinctly remember one slow day in the Daily Creative Department when Jeff Vlaming came up with the idea of creating a cartoon character using only the keys of John's typewriter. He'd type letters and spaces as the "drawing" came to life on the typewritten page. And darned if the final image didn't look exactly like one of Jeff's drawings as if he had used a pen instead!

Tail Gunner

2009-11-16T12:53:00.008-06:00

When things got dull at the Minnesota Daily or lunch rolled around, a very popular way for the FFG to pass the time was to play Tail Gunner, the addictive video game on display either at Big Mike's Sub Shop or the Improper Fraction (a little help here). Not so much skill was required as was the ability to hit a button 500 times a minute.

CRAIG ASKS: What was the game you and Jeff loved to play down at the Improper Fraction, the one where that was basically a box in the center of the screen that shot "laser rays" from each of its four sides at attacking somethings? Space Zap?

BRUCE ANSWERS: Space Zap sounds right! In fact, I think that was the video game where all you needed was the nervous system of a humming bird.

John is more than amused by Craig.

2009-11-15T12:54:00.009-06:00

Now, who, exactly, is Bandito Di Smoochos?

From the infamous June '92 white-water rafting trip! Granny isn't in the photo. She fell overboard.

Craig makes Jeff V. smile too!

BRUCE ADDS: I don't remember how we all got to Colorado. I do remember pulling the seats out of the car to sit around a campfire. I remember introducing the FFG to Lisa's brother's (Bob's) kids and Craig giving little Britte a shoulder ride. And I remember a grandmother falling out of the raft and Bob pulling her back in by her life vest. Also, gloves without fingers and those things that keep your sunglasses from falling into the river.

Jimbo and Bob

2009-11-15T11:59:00.004-06:00

Here is the original paste-up for the Jimbo and Bob ad. Gotta love that border tape!

BRUCE ADDS: I wish I still had the original to that James Garner caricature! I also wish I had the caricature I did of Craig when he grew a beard. As I remember, I had Craig saying, "Look at this neat-o beard!" as he was pointing to his chin. I also remember Craig disliking it immensely, ripping it off the Creative Department door to which it was taped and tearing it to shreds, perhaps thinking we (me) were making fun of him for some reason. Does anyone also remember Craig pulling apart a cassette tape (and maybe throwing it out the window)? Was it a recording of Craig made surreptitiously?

CRAIG PLEADS: Aw geez...can't we just give that "Underdog" story a rest for a while? How about until after I'm dead?

DOWN IN THE VALLI

2009-11-14T13:53:00.012-06:00

Ad campaigns were rare enough in the Daily so when the beloved Valli Restaurant in Dinkytown okayed this series of ads it was the stuff of Daily creative department history. I'm uncertain how many ran, -- give me a number, anyone -- but with the succinct, witty headlines, the whimsical "broken line" illustrations and the lack of Cooper Black anywhere in the ad, it was considered a truly high-brow campaign.

The alternative ideas shown above, were not. (If anyone's interested, we're still looking for a headline to the "beartrap" illio.)

BRUCE TRIES: Things could be worse. You could have eaten at Stub & Herbs!

BRUCE ADDS: OR...Only a few things are sharper than our steak knives.

Party Quiz

2009-11-13T20:23:00.008-06:00

Who knows why 4/5 of us (and pushy broads) were having a get-together in May of 1992?

Here's a hint:

CRAIG ANSWERS: Judging by that last photo -- my party gift of "Shrimp on the Barbie" -- I would hazard a guess that this was the going-away party for Bruce and Lisa before they left on their trip to Australia! And look at picture 3 -- John was amused by something I said. We have photographic proof!

BRUCE ADDS: Did I remember to thank everyone for that get-together? I still have that shrimp-on-the-Barbie and have to laugh every time I think of it! I also have photos of everyone giving each other back rubs later in the evening, negatives available for a price.

Just a memory jogger (or if it's yellow then it's Jello)

2009-11-13T20:04:00.007-06:00

Does anyone remember the record that was played over and over with someone calling on the telephone?

JEFF V. SUGGESTS: Calling on the telephone repeatedly? More information needed.

Craig (finally!) gets the joke

2009-11-13T18:59:00.003-06:00

Back in the summer of 1981, when only Jeff V. and I were left to staff the Minnesota Daily creative department, our primary task (along with annoying the account reps) was to create themes for the Coupon Bonanza supplements for each of the two summer semesters.

What we came up with will have to be the subject of a future post. Here's what didn't run. Drawing on inspiration from (I'm assuming) Tom & Jerry and Warner Bros. cartoons, Jeff tried to sell me on a comic strip he called Coupon Kitty:

Yes, I noticed that the mouse refers to Coupon Kitty as Q.T. Kitty here. These might not be the original drawings he did, but a re-drawing/tracing of the comic from some later date. Jeff will have to enlighten us.

At any rate, after he finished his original sketches, he excitedly put it under my nose and braced himself for the laughter sure to come. Instead, I think I gave him only a courtesy chuckle, saying it kinda funny, but didn't really do much for me.

And so, disappointed, he set it aside and we went back to brainstorming new ideas.

Then...

A full two weeks later, Jeff and I happened to be down in the production room for a meeting or checking proofs or something, and I started laughing uncontrollably. Jeff looked over at me and naturally asked, "What's so funny?" And I started replaying the Coupon Kitty cartoon to him, where the unfortunate feline gets run over by the steamroller and --

Gotta stop now. Laughing too hard again. Well, you get the idea.

JEFF V ADDS: Never mind Coupon Kitty's demise.... the same year, RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK came out and Craig saw it and was ho-hum about the film... only after a period of reflection (and my hammering) did he come around to viewing the film in a positive light. An apt comparison, Coupon Kitty and a Speilberg film, eh?

The above cartoon is, in fact, a redo of the original... as the date in the second-to-the-last panel is 1983. There are, however, some other Coupon Kitty artwork (never used) that does exist, drawn on the Daily's famous 11" x 17" layout paper!

Okay, I didn't know how to spell Salisbury.

2009-11-10T11:55:00.005-06:00

Mighty momentous milestone methinks.

CRAIG ADDS: It's a testament to Bruce's careful wordsmithing that even with a headline that crammed with "m" words, it didn't read like awkward alliteration.

CRAIG FURTHER ADDS: I just clicked on the ad to enlarge it because I was curious to read the copy -- and it was only then I noticed the taped-on fix to Harrison Salisbury's name. (Am I supposed to know who that guy is, by the way?)

BRUCE ADDS: Harrison Evans Salisbury (November 14, 1908 – July 5, 1993), an American Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist (1955), was the first regular New York Times correspondent in Moscow after World War II. (Has nothing to do with steak.)

Sure you remember Bullwinkle's...

2009-11-10T11:33:00.010-06:00

But do you remember Pudge's?

Jeff V adds: A couple of fine examples of Bruce's artwork. I like how the Pudge woman reflects the times... like she stepped right off of a Nagel print... and it's Bruce himself quaffing a cold one in the second panel!

BRUCE ADDS: You might have something there, Jeff.

And here's an extra from the back of the ad!

CRAIG ADDS: I remember Pudge's (it was in my neighborhood), but more importantly, I think I remember doing the Mug-Shot ad with Bruce (and unintentionally implying that excessive imbibing will lead to arrest and imprisonment; ah, the obliviousness of young ad people...)

The Mark of Bandito Di Smoochos!

2009-11-10T10:00:00.002-06:00

The exact date is uncertain but, based on the letterhead below, it was sometime during the 1992 or 1993:

Attached was a photocopy of the following comics page from a Hispanic newspaper. A day or two later, Jeff called and asked what I thought of the comics. I told him it was kind of funny to see familiar comics in Spanish but didn't really look it over much. Jeff was surprised at my obtuseness, and told me to look closer at the page, where he had inserted three special comics (each with their own drawing and narrative style and written in pseudo-Spanish!) based on inside jokes for us.

Can you identify them?

The top strip -- Bandito di Smoochos -- was based on the "Thief of Kisses" nickname Jeff assigned me after I related my (once in a lifetime) tale of stealing kisses from two different women at a pub crawl the night before. And of course, answered the question of what I would look like in a Zapata moustache.

The fourth strip -- Carlos! Bambina di Salsa -- featured Carlos The Salsa Boy, the name we had once dubbed the low-level employee at Chi-Chi's Mexican Restaurant whose job it was to go table to table refilling the salsa bowls.

Finally, the second to last strip -- Senor Eduardo -- was based on nothing more than (I think) an offhand observation by Jeff's brother Jonathan that in Mexico, the old TV sitcom, "Mr. Ed" would be known as "Senor Eduardo" (which he would cap off with a deep-throated Mr. Ed impersonation saying, "Buenos dias, Wilbur").

You've got to appreciate how much work goes into these silly jokes.

PARTY

2009-11-06T18:16:00.016-06:00

The year was 1983. The sitcom M*A*S*H was destined to conclude in what would be one of television's most-watched events. And the 5 Guys weren't about to pass up the chance for another get-together:

I think I must have read some spoilers beforehand, because some of the categories ("Goes Crazy," "Spin-Off") were pretty spot-on. My favorite bit in the whole crudely made, photocopied invite is my removal of the last check-box in the Hot Lips row. (She can't really bed herself now, can she?)

Here's the party photo:

(From left: Father Mulcahy, unidentified surgeon,

unidentified corpsman and Korean prisoner,

Hawkeye-wannabe, BJ-wannabe, Hot Lips-wannabe.)

In the interests of full disclosure, I should mention that, contrary to the invite, there was no M*A*S*H Vodka served. I cheaped out, as I recall.

(Plus, none of us drank vodka.)

And finally, since no funny joke ever goes untopped by Jeff, he followed up my invitation with his own version about the fates of all five of us...and dang it! I can't find it anywhere in my files! I'll keep looking...

JEFF V ADDS: I too have no idea where the mock invite is. I do, however, recall that among the array of fates that might befall one of the five funniest guys was 'wed Rose Woo', a reference to the last art director hired under the FFG dynasty.

CRAIG ADDS: Close, Jeff, but that's not exactly what you wrote. See below:

(Be sure to click and enlarge it so

you can read the whole thing)

JEFF V ADDS: Something that's fun to track over the many photos and drawings of the FFG is who had a beard and/or moustache. In the above mock-invite you can see Bruce and John are both sporting a s'tache but in the photo from the MASH party Bruce and Jeff J. both have full beards, as did I. Hey, what can you say... it was the eighties!

BRUCE ADDS: The above group photo reminds me of the first time 4/5 of the funny guys met John's girlfriend at the time, Andrea. John had rendezvoused with her at either the Improper Fraction or Stub & Herbs and the rest of us just happened to stop by. I remember it as both awkward and hilarious!

Craig Knows Where the Ketchup Is

2009-10-30T18:27:00.006-05:00

Once upon a time at the Daily, Craig was in charge of the holiday Gift Guide insert and was simultaneously A) taking photographs for the guide B) writing pithy descriptions of Guide items and C) farming out illustration requests to the art directors. Needless to say, Craig was swamped with the chore, his every waking moment consumed by it.

So it was in this fractured, distracted mental state that Craig and I went to McDonalds for lunch off-campus. A cheery grey-haired retiree took Craig's order and then, just as cheerily, informed him where the condiments were located in the restaurant.

At that precise moment, Craig was hit with an eureka! answer to a Gift Guide conundrum that had been plaguing him. He shouted out in relief, finally having solved his work problem.

But to me, the onlooker, I saw a little old lady behind the counter tell Craig, "...And the ketchhup packets are over there." To which Craig shouted, "I KNOW...!" To which the startled old bag replied in a tiny voice, "I'm sure that you do..."

Modeling Careers Gone Awry

2009-07-30T13:57:00.004-05:00

JEFF V ADDS: The above photo of Bruce and me was actually shot at the Edina Country Club... as if you can see ANYHTHING in the background that suggests a posh location. The top photo not only features a clueless Ron Holsacker (who, even posing for a camera, appears not to have any idea of what we were doing) but it's also a before-after kind of story: Bruce before, using the same ol' knapsack as the rest of the crowd and BRUCE AFTER, who not only owns a whole gaggle of bags, but is in color... and has a bodacious babe staring past him.

Students Dealt Winning Hand

2009-07-30T13:30:00.010-05:00

And who remembers Coupon Harold:

CRAIG ASKS: Can Bruce or anyone else supply any background info/anecdotes to this entry? Wasn't this the Creative Department's first Coupon Bonanza cover?

BRUCE ADDS: Yup, this was the first Coupon Bonanza cover, at least the first that the FFGs did. The photo was set up in a back room in the Daily building. No one even bothered to write any body copy, but of course, in order to make the cover look right, massive greeking was used!

Also, this was the first introduction of Swisher Sweets cigars to the group, later to reappear at subsequent events including weddings.

The Great Coupon Caper

2009-07-30T12:56:00.012-05:00

Click on each to enlarge...

CRAIG COMMENTS: Isn't this the first Coupon Bonanza that went beyond just the cover? Let's have some behind-the-scenes stuff here.)

BRUCE ADDS: Right again Craig. I do recall the outline of the dead body (underneath an open Daily window) causing a big stir among the curious passersby. Also, it was great fun going "on location" around campus snapping the photos. And (of course) I still have that hat.

The Great Coupon Caper (the teaser)

2009-07-30T12:47:00.004-05:00

Cast (in order of appearance)

Raymond (Scoop) Baxter...........John Jarvis
Trench Malloy...........................Bruce Hannum
Rocky Ravelli............................Jeff Jones
Johnny Valmino........................Jeff Vlaming

Tuesday, April 29, 1980

Trench Malloy Movie Stills

2009-07-22T20:44:00.003-05:00

From the Sea Captain with a monkey to J. Valmino given the 3rd degree to Trish the Dish. So when did Jeff shave?

Our 17th annual summer picnic

2009-06-06T11:30:00.007-05:00

Stumbled on this the other day while rifling through a file of nonsense. Turns out there was a second Summer Picnic, nine years after the first one. (Or perhaps it was our 17th picnic, since I had dubbed the previous one our 16th picnic.)

(Don't bother clicking to enlarge to read;

you're not missing any jokes.)

(The fetuses, by the way, would have been Michael, Matthew and Isabel.)

Available virtually nowhere

2009-06-06T11:15:00.001-05:00

I don't remember when these sartorial brainstorms happened, though I'm guessing it was in the early 2000s, probably during a phone conversation with one of the Jeffs. It looks dashed off and was probably faxed to whoever it was I was speaking to at the time. Whatever their origin, I obviously found it amusing enough that I created a second wave of designs based on memorable in-jokes back in our Daily days:

Scrambling for Clients

2009-02-11T19:00:00.014-06:00

In case business owners didn't realize promoting themselves was good for business this mailer was sent out to prospective and existing clients. Craig or John had this Seussean poem and they thought it would fit the flier perfectly. Hey, even if the business owners didn't choose to advertise in the Daily who could help but adore the folksy, "down on the farm" poem? (Below is an alternate drawing for the flier and, of course, the Jeff V. "real life" version).

CRAIG ADDS: What I recall most about this what my fervent belief that this was a dynamite promo idea (What cash-strapped business wouldn't be persuaded by a clever poem to plunk down money for an ad?) and how I made it my mission to bring it to life exactly as I pictured it in my mind -- only to see it ignored and unmailed by every single account exec in the office.

The one we've been waiting for: King Koupon!!

2009-02-11T12:00:00.001-06:00

(Or at least, the one most of us have been waiting for. I suspect that Jeff J., not working at the Daily during this period, probably regards with with the same distanced amusement that I feel about say, the first Trench Malloy Coupon Bonanza story.)

Although, we didn't have the foresight to have video cameras recording the moment for posterity, I suspect this issue began with a tossed-off notion from Jeff, whose fascination with the big ape goes back to least age 12.

What I find most fascinating though, is our post-modern approach to story-telling, using faked bits of "found narrative" and a collage-style layout. I don't remember any particular source we were "aping" with this. It could be one of the most creative ideas we came up with:

(Klick to read all the klever kopy.)

As promised, here are scans of the actual photos used, including my National Enquirer-worthy photo composites.)

(This shot, the Old Sea Captain's shanty, I believe was shot in the basement of the Daily building -- it's not the third floor men's room, though it may look like it.)
King Koupon rises up over Northrup Hall. Note the body language of the four, all apparently unphased by the prospect of a 50-foot tall primate looming over them.)

Of course, that's John inside the gorilla suit, having the time of his strait-laced life lurching around campus in complete anonymity. I seem to recall him saying hi to one of his professors (Bob Jones?) we passed on the mall, who absently just greeted him back without bothering to wonder who was behind the mask.

Along with Bruce in his Trench Malloy trench coat and Jeff in his Sea Captain getup, that's Trish (one of the two female art directors in our little department) in the white. The remaining woman is John's youngest sister, forever known to us as Miss Matchbook, for some forgotten reason John's going to have to fill in.

And that's where our story ends...for now! (Takes a lot of scanning.) Watch for part 2, coming soon!

"Take this, human!"

2009-02-03T14:07:00.007-06:00

(Click to enlarge)

Disney's movie "THE FOX AND THE HOUND" supposedly was to be the first animated feature of the studio's new age. As it turned out that title went to "The Little Mermaid" a few years later but the bigger question, one that still eludes me, was why grown college guys had a poster for the former flick hanging in their creative office. As Craig M. mentioned in an earlier post we were, however, always looking for some movie to rip-off for a Coupon Bonanza cover and I had felt the Disney film was ripe for ripping. Staying true to the movie poster (perhaps Craig can find that online) I rendered this... but for obvious reasons it didn't fly and we went with 'The Coupon Zone' instead.

CRAIG ADDS: Since Jeff requested, here it is for comparison:

A few more recollections: As you might guess, Jeff's prospective cover was titled "The Fox and the Coupon," and somewhere on it, he had penciled his version of the actual poster's themeline, something like,

"The story of two friends who didn't know that one of them was redeemable at various outlets around town."

Along with his other perversions of the Disney poster ("Dammit, Chief!"), for some reason, I always thought the sight of the owl throwing her unborn children at the farmer's wife was hilarious. (Maybe it's just me...)

Ticket to Mirth

2009-02-03T14:01:00.004-06:00

Post college, after we'd all gone our separate ways Craig took it upon himself to organize an official FFG reunion (at Bullwinkles, of course) and sent out these... tickets. Maybe they were just fliers or reminders but their diminutive size and off-white color gave the impression they were admission tickets. As memory serves, we all met and had many conies and a lots of beer.... but the mind reels at how if, just like on Gillligan's Island, one of the tickest had been lost in delivery or, worse still, Jack Ohman had intercepted John's ticket and now we'd be palling around with him!

CRAIG ADDS: I think I got that typeface on loan from "The Mary Tyler Moore" show. And what's with that guy's nose?

Raiding movies for ideas...

2009-01-31T18:00:00.002-06:00

(Click to enlarge)

What can be the concept behind a Coupon Bonanza supplement? As we've proven more than once, anything darn thing we want! And in the summer of 1981, what else could be at the top of Jeff's mind? As co-conspirator of this cover concept, I probably wrote (and set) the copy, including the big typo in our our Coupon Crusader's name.

Art Wars

2009-01-30T16:00:00.001-06:00

Traditionalists that we were, it just never sat well with us when Daily editorial changed the name of the Friday Arts & Entertainment section from A&E to the fancy-schmancy-sounding d'Art. (Even John, the most cerebral of us, seemed to be less than thrilled; when he had to write a radio commercial trumpeting the change, he just had the announcer say he was being challenged to say the name as times as possible in sixty seconds.*)

Anyway, what with the all-pervasive influence "Star Wars" had on Jeff V. and me at the time, how could we not make this connection, which required only a slight alteration of the angular d'art logo logo.

Oddly, it looks more appropriate for Lord Vader than it ever did for the arts section.

(*The funniest moment occurred near the end of the spot, when, having run out of things to say, the announcer just started spouting non-sensical phrases like, "darting between parked cars...")

The Dawn of Man...

2009-01-20T17:31:00.003-06:00

Or "Men" as the five of us crawled from the primordial soup and slowly migrated to the second floor office on Washington Avenue in Stadium Village. Here is the first known piece of art done, circa 2 B.C. (Before Craig) but carbon dating has shown the piece to even predate Jeff Jones, John Jarvis and Bruce Hannum's arrival at the Daily. Note the crude use of zip-a-tone, the yellowed tape on the edges and the heavy handed use of border tape. Archaeologists have deduced that the message of the piece either suggests that the newspaper is the result of inspired ideas, is thought inspiring... or that it's written by a bunch of apes.

A pin-up an elephant would never forget

2009-01-19T19:53:00.008-06:00

(Click to read caption)

Summer or winter, Julie Sta-whatsitz always wore a down vest in the office which lead one to wonder if the Advertising department's thermostat was set too low or if the thing was actually bullet proof (her protetction against her hot-head boyfriend/co-worker Josh Blah-de-blah). Somehow or other Craig had a photo of Julie and, adding a caption ala a movie still. credited her with being in the 1981 Lynch film THE ELEPHANT MAN, a movie of which neither Craig nor i could get enough. The caption/joke wasn't so funny but Craig hung it above his desk nevertheless. Guess he liked the look of that vest.

CRAIG ADDS: Jeff's right in that the caption falls flat; two and a half decades later, the funniest thing about it is why I would ever bother to link a photo of Julie S. with "The Elephant Man." (It's not like she looked like Anne Bancroft or anything.)

Wing ding wisenheimer

2009-01-18T19:56:00.006-06:00

The Minnesota Daily Advertising department had many things but it boasted of only one team of siblings -- Jim and John Gross. Both sales reps, Jim (bearing a resemblance to Letterman's flame-haired announcer Alan Coulter) was a nice enough guy but it was his younger brother John that proved memorable. Though he had the same red hair, John wore it in bangs complimented by a catapillar moustache to boot. He was the first guy (I knew) to have a Sony Walkman and he boogied around the offices grooving to music only he could hear (the concept!) and at one time or another John labeled each of us in Creative as a "wing ding wisenheimer" -- a term not of malice but good humored inredulity.. This picure reflects John pretty well and it also shows the feeble seven foot tall partitions that separated our "offices". Why he's being carried away by a giant fly, I have no idea.

CRAIG ADDS: I'm thinking that Jeff has mixed up Jim and John; can anyone provide the definitive answer? My best Jim (?) Gross memory: Jim walks into our office and invites Jeff V. and I over to his house for a party, promising "a good time, a few drinks, a little grass..." After he left, Jeff confessed to the same confusion I had: "I thought he was talking about having a nice lawn..." (We're so cool...)

TO WHICH JEFF REBUTTS: John was the younger brother. Absolutely. In rereading the above paragraph how is that not clear? (And as I recall, Gross the Younger was an avid gardener and his lawn was the envy of many a putting green). Oh, Jesus... as I write this I'm starting to think Craig is right -- that the Alan Coulter Gross was John and the wing-ding etc. Gross was Jim. And to think I've been sending Christmas cards to the wrong guys all these years...

BRUCE ADDS: John the older. Jim the younger (and more impetuous).

5 Guys Outings (Wait, that's not what you're thinking...)

2009-01-18T13:52:00.004-06:00

It started with Beth. In summer 1990, she asked, "How come you guys don't have a summer get-together?"

"We do have an annual summer picnic," I answered. "It's just that, this summer is the first one." And so out went the flyer:

Click to read all the funny little jokes.)

I made it the 16th annual Summer Picnic to give it a sense of history and longevity, but alas, I think it was indeed our one and only picnic. However, it did give rise to a couple of camping trips in the next year or two, like this one over by Hastings:

A letter from camp...

2009-01-18T13:05:00.001-06:00

During the summer of '81, John bugged out to northern Minnesota as a counselor at Many Point boy scout camp, leaving Jeff V. and I staff to the Creative Department. He didn't forget about us though:

(Click to read John's deepest inner thoughts.)

Before we jump the second page, please take special note of the opening of the letter, and John's revelation that he hasn't "given one thought to advertising...no withdrawal, no nothin'!" In fact, when John returned in August, the three of us went out for beers and burgers at the Big Ten, and John tried to convince me to give up advertising, maybe get a job bar tending and enjoy life. Of course, as we know, the New John didn't end up lasting any longer than New Coke did.
Of course, since he's referenced the famous "John Jarvis the Hockey Player" photo, here it is, as cleverly tricked up by Jeff crudely but convincingly:

Our World Headquarters

2009-01-18T13:00:00.000-06:00

This came today via email from Jeff J.:

"First a web page and now an office. If I could only remember the address..."

"Hi" = "Yep"

2009-01-14T15:24:00.005-06:00

As mentioned in the 'Rockfish' post below, the Advertising Department had a janitor who would roll in every night around five PM. When he'd enter the Creative department one of us would say, "Hi." to which he'd reply, "Hi." When a second person offered, "Hi." The Janior would say, "Yep." ALWAYS. Without fail, that was the exchange, every day. As previously mentioned Bruce H. drew a portrait of the guy and his wife in their traditional clothing of Africa. I don't know why exactly but I also rendered this dashed-off portrait of the man.

What A Bunch Of Characters!

2009-01-14T14:19:00.008-06:00

Here's a caricature of the five funniest guys as drawn by Jarl Olsen, based loosely on the photo posted earlier. You'll notice that these are not the current and celebrated five. Craig M. had not yet arrived on the scene and Jarl inserted himself into the group (farthest right, hat and glasses). You'll also note that Jarl decided to put Jeff V. in overalls with Jeff's name on the front (to avoid any confusion). And that Jarl also took some artistic license in the footwear he selected for everyone, especially the wing tips that John J. is sporting.

CRAIG ADDS: I'm not threatened. Look how easily I can turn Jarl into me:

CRAIG ALSO ADDS: This drawing (neat style, by the way; who knew?) is all the evidence I've ever seen that Jarl ever worked at the Daily. It might be all anyone's ever seen. Apparently, he was there only for a couple weeks before, without explanation, he one day stopped coming in. John's frequent joke was that he wished Jarl would come in again so he could fire him.

BRUCE ADDS: I believe Jarl was hired as an art director. And that his hat was glued to his head. I also remember that someone referred to my mustache in this drawing as radio waves.

Is that your hand up my backside, or...

2009-01-13T19:35:00.009-06:00

The year was 1981 and Jim' Henson's popular Muppets burst onto the big screen. Audiences loved THE MUPPET MOVIE but it was Craig McNamara's keen eye that noted a canny resemblance between certain members of the creative department and stars of the film:

CRAIG adds: Here's a little additional background as I remember it. Deanna O. had pinned up a photo of her boyfriend ("Moosebutt," as I recall she nicknamed him) on the wall next to her drawing board. That cued the three of us to pin our own photos alongside. When that joke wore off, I stuck us below the Muppet photo that had run in the MN Daily Arts & Entertainment section (I think it was "The Great Muppet Caper" that had just come out) and wrote the caption. Jeff (naturally) took it a step further, and gave us the appropriate props.

Forget the A-Team -- get a load of these guys!

2009-01-13T18:00:00.006-06:00

John Jarvis oversaw (and wrote) a newsletter that was sent to Daily advertisers. Full of tips and tidbits, this issue (of how many, I dunno) is of note for the helluva picture it paints of the creative department.

(Click to magically enlarge)

Not saying that Bruce H. isn't "a wizard of words" or anything...

For want of wit, a dummy was lost...

2009-01-13T17:46:00.006-06:00

At the height of the Danny O'Day hostage crisis, the advertising department was being run by a guy named Jeff Litt. Whether he felt things in the Creative Department were getting too silly (and not enough legitimate work was being done) or that he lacked the sense of humor that could see the brilliance in a ventriloquist dummy's ongoing saga, Litt ordered an end to the whole affair... to which John Jarvis pasted together a ransom-style letter defending Danny and warning the man to watch his back. The threatening letter may exist somewhere but Jeff Litt's bio is below.

CRAIG ADDS: Watch for the whole "Danny O'Day Held Hostage" saga in an upcoming post!

2009-01-13T16:41:00.002-06:00

the rejected idea...

D'ARTS ANYONE?

2009-01-13T16:06:00.006-06:00

It was no secret there was an ongoing creative feud at The Minnesota Daily -- not in the advertising Creative Dept certainly, but between our office and the guys at Editorial. There was no question who reigned supreme but while we were forced to express our myriad of abilities via awkward venues like Coupon Bonanza and Dinkytown Crazy Daze, the Editorial staff was allowed to develop a weekly arts-oriented insert, one with its own staff and budget! Entitled D'ART, the end product sucked (as we all had anticipated) and didn't last very long (ditto) but D'ART was in existence over Campus Carnival, a big field house event full of booths and exhibits. Ironically we at Advertising Creative were asked to come up with a MN Daily booth featuring the new (but doomed) arts insert. I came up with a couple of sketches -- logically the visitors wouold throw darts at a booth manned by a puppet... being worked by a Craig McNamara puppet... being worked by John Jarvis. The second idea was dismissed outright as it required two giant spring-loaded hinges and too much mopping up.

Hey. Rockfish...

2009-01-13T15:45:00.011-06:00

While Bruce Hannum was mostly known for his expertise as a copywriter at the Daily creative dept. he was also an extraordinary artist himself. While no known copies of it exists (except maybe in Bruce's file cabinet) he was commisioned to do a portrait of our dutiful (Somali?) janitor and his wife. What did exist in my file folder was this great picture Bruce drew of James Garner as Jim Rockford. Done for yet another Crazy Days insert, Jimbo is seen here talking to a little seen character Bob from THE ROCKFORD FILES, some crazy old preacher man with an affinity for cats.

Was I ever really this appealing?*

2009-01-13T13:00:00.003-06:00

Jeff V. features me in a 1980(?) spot drawing (that wasn't used) for a Dinkytown Gift Guide.

*And did I ever really have this much hair?

UPDATE: Let's go to photo and find out:

Nope on both counts.

Touring the southeast corner of our office...

2008-12-28T22:30:00.002-06:00

The creative department office was probably no more than eight feet by ten or twelve feet, but within that space, there was crammed two desks, two drawing tables, maybe a bookshelf, and this storage cabinet, which highlighted two current films -- Jack Nicholson in "The Shining" (actually a GQ ad which Jeff V. customized) and "Ordinary People" -- ask Jeff or John to do an impersonation of Donald Sutherland (top left) calling Timothy Hutton (bottom left) down to breakfast.

(Side note: Check out the pegboard at far left, holding different sizes of border tapes for use in ad keylines.)

Crazy, man, crazy...

2008-12-28T18:30:00.006-06:00

By the summer of '81, Jeff J. hadn't been on staff for over a year, Bruce had stopped hanging around and even John was off at Scout Camp. That left only Jeff V. and I to man the creative department and create the theme of the summer Coupon Bonanza. Following up on the satiric approach of Spring's "Coupon Digest" magnum opus, we decided to parody both the typical summer "Kah-ray-zee Days!" Sale and the hackneyed "what's wrong with this picture?" puzzle:

(click on it for a closer look)

(Please make special note of the second appearance of "Cornet Man" at bottom center.)

Found all 20 yet? I'll make it easy on you by enlarging and flipping the answers:

(Unless your eyes are still that sharp, click on this, too)

I seem to recall hearing from at least one frustrated reader back then who took our challenge a bit more seriously than we did...

Naturally, John takes the place of Kevin Bacon...

2008-12-28T01:15:00.000-06:00

Being that we do consider ourselves the real-life incarnation of the "Diner" guys (although, as far as I know, none of us have ever played the Popcorn Trick on a date), it was inevitable that we'd use one of our own weddings to recreate the "Diner" movie poster image:

(Wonder what ever became of those guys?)

Meet Mr. Gormly

2008-12-28T00:30:00.003-06:00

I have only vague memories of this. Maybe something about an ad John was writing for a Dinkytown bank that started with the phrase, "Is your banker...?"

How Jeff V. got from there to this, well, probably only he or John can explain:

(Click to read captions. LIke you're not curious.)

The Way We Were...

2008-12-26T21:15:00.001-06:00

So young, so beautiful...

(Okay, so I wasn't actually working at the Daily when this photo was taken. But it's so iconic, so well remembered, there's NO WAY I'm gonna miss out on being a part of it!)

This was the photo we photocopied onto yellowed paper (to "age" it), framed and sneakily screwed onto the wall of Bullwinkle's bar back in the '90s -- we figured we'd spent enough lunches and evenings there (and eaten enough coney dogs) that we deserved a place among the other historical photos. So we took a table upstairs in back, away from everyone else and when no one was looking, out came the cordless drill and up we went.

I seem to remember returning a week or two later, and being pleasantly surprised to see we were still undiscovered. The next time we came by, however, the photo was gone. Ah, well. For one brief, shining moment...

The Music Of Our Lives (part 1)

2008-12-26T13:07:00.006-06:00

As you'd expect in a department as loosey-goosey and as cluttered with gags and cultural detritus as ours was, offbeat music just had to be part of the mix. Once John brought in an old suitcase-style record player, old 45s and albums weren't far behind.

Courtesy of Jeff V., came this record which combined the swingin' '60s rock instrumentals with shrieks, creaks and other ghoulish sounds. Thanks to walls that didn't reach the ceiling, our eclectic music would drift far beyond the confines of our own office, leading to some annoyed office mates. Once, while playing a Frankie track (maybe the one you can listen to here), the office receptionist demanded, "What is that -- It sounds like a woman being raped."

Finally, it's official!

2008-12-26T12:30:00.002-06:00

Years after John awarded us the title after a typically hilarious get-together (perhaps at the Improper Fraction downstairs from the Minnesota Daily offices), the appropriate documentation was finally issued to each of us in 1997:

Note the Official Seal of The Five Funniest Guys In America (before we were upgraded) at lower right, reproduced and enhanced for clarity below:

(And if you think it's all been about privileges and no obligations, then you've never been to a party where someone comes up to you and says, "So I hear you're one of the five funniest guys in the world...")

Never mind young Jeff, check out those ads!

2008-12-26T12:15:00.001-06:00

How many do you recognize?

(Click to enlarge)

The King Is Back

2008-12-23T23:54:00.007-06:00

From the Minnesota Daily photo issue in April, 2007 -- okay, not really, but it's something I tricked up for the benefit for Jeff last year. The photo, of course (of course?) is from King Koupon, another Coupon Bonanza insert from 1981. And we'll be posting more on that epic production another day.

(click to enrage -- I mean, enlarge!)

John makes with the funny

2008-12-23T19:00:00.003-06:00

Here's the "cover" to Coupon Digest -- our Reader's Digest parody (before magazine parodies were commonplace, mind you) that filled the unsold ad space in the Spring 1981 Coupon Bonanza ad supplement to the Minnesota Daily. As a measure of how much good will we apparently had built up at the paper, management actually added 4 extra pages to the supplement for no other reason than to give us room to play.

Here's John's table of contents; note the '80s political references and well as other examples of John's distinctive brand of erudite, dry humor:

(click to enlarge; it's worth reading every word)

Somebody get that dummy a tissue...

2008-12-23T13:45:00.005-06:00

Danny O'Day, the resident ventriloquist dummy of the Minnesota Daily Creative Department (and future Iran hostage, but that's another story) gets caught in an embarrassing moment.

Paging Dr. Dog...

2008-12-23T13:30:00.001-06:00

Two posts in, and we're already fast becoming more a Tribute to Artistry of Jeff Vlaming, but we'll share the spotlight in later posts. In the meantime, here's a fine example of the quicksilver way Jeff's mind works. He starts with one image then, just when you embraced the lunacy, he abruptly drops the formality while simulaneously upping the absurdity for an even more memorable drawing.

We've got to start somewhere...

2008-12-23T12:00:00.004-06:00

And what better place than our official crest, as created by Jeff V., sometime back in the early '80s:

As for the name itself, I suspect it was Bruce that first brought this Latin pun ("Always where under where") to our attention. I do know for certain that Jeff V. later decided that it was the perfect name for the humor magazine we never actually put out.

But finally, some 27 years later, "Semper Ubi Sububi" lives!

So dig into your archives, John, Bruce, and the two Jeffs. This is our official online posting place for all the great gags, photos, drawings and Coupon Bonanza supplements of our Minnesota Daily years -- and all five of us have posting privileges, so get busy.

Guaranteed to amuse only 5 people in the entire Internet -- but that's exactly the same number who were originally amused by this stuff, so what the heck.

Semper Ubi Sububi

CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE MIRTH KIND

JARVIS... ON ICE!

THE OFFICIAL S.U.S. COAT OF ARMS

THE EVOLUTIONARY CAREER OF TRACY THE COP

Danny O' Day Held Hostage, Part 5: As The Nation Held Its Breath, Danny Languished

Danny O' Day Held Hostage, Part 4: Media Feeding Frenzy-And A Warning

Danny O' Day Held Hostage, Part 3:: Message From The East

Danny O' Day Held Hostage, Part 2: History Repeating

Danny O' Day Held Hostage, Part 1: Danny, Oh Danny

One of the more unsuccessful ideas at the Daily

SPEAKING OF DEANNA...

Trish Two

Deanna Model and Friend

Caricatures By Bruce Continued

Trish Immortalized in Graphite

The Preliminary Janitor (and his wife)

They have taken our name in vain...

Still real hard holding back the laughs at this one...

The art direction of... wait, it'll come to me.

The art of the can

Bruce was hired as a copywriter, right?

The Art of Jeff Jones

Clip Art Joint

The Airbrush Cometh

I'm Melting.

King Ocar Ardine

The Art of the Typewriter

Tail Gunner

John is more than amused by Craig.

Jimbo and Bob

DOWN IN THE VALLI

Party Quiz

Just a memory jogger (or if it's yellow then it's Jello)

Craig (finally!) gets the joke

Okay, I didn't know how to spell Salisbury.

Sure you remember Bullwinkle's...

The Mark of Bandito Di Smoochos!

P*A*R*T*Y

Craig Knows Where the Ketchup Is

Modeling Careers Gone Awry

Students Dealt Winning Hand

The Great Coupon Caper

The Great Coupon Caper (the teaser)

Trench Malloy Movie Stills

Our 17th annual summer picnic

Available virtually nowhere

Scrambling for Clients

The one we've been waiting for: King Koupon!!

"Take this, human!"

Ticket to Mirth

Raiding movies for ideas...

Art Wars

The Dawn of Man...

A pin-up an elephant would never forget

Wing ding wisenheimer

5 Guys Outings (Wait, that's not what you're thinking...)

A letter from camp...

Our World Headquarters

"Hi" = "Yep"

What A Bunch Of Characters!

Is that your hand up my backside, or...

Forget the A-Team -- get a load of these guys!

For want of wit, a dummy was lost...

D'ARTS ANYONE?

Hey. Rockfish...

Was I ever really this appealing?*

Touring the southeast corner of our office...

Crazy, man, crazy...

Naturally, John takes the place of Kevin Bacon...

Meet Mr. Gormly

The Way We Were...

The Music Of Our Lives (part 1)

Finally, it's official!

Never mind young Jeff, check out those ads!

The King Is Back

John makes with the funny

Somebody get that dummy a tissue...

Paging Dr. Dog...

We've got to start somewhere...

PARTY